Sunday, March 2, 2014

Speech 1 ICE BREAKER - What Does Not Kill You Makes You Stronger




Good morning fellow toast masters and distinguished guests. My name is TM Ebi Ofrey M.D, MBA. I am both a medical doctor and a business man sort of a superman /Clark Kent dual personality. More of a doctor in Bayelsa and more of a business/management consultant in Port-Harcourt though with my new business venture - Visiting Physicians Services I am trying to merge both.

It is with great pleasure that I stand before you this morning to deliver my ice-breaker speech.  On the surface the ice breaker speech as they say is the simplest of the speeches you give as a toastmaster because it just pertains to what has happened in your life. This sentiment is deceptive in the sense that it alludes to the fact that your life can be summarized in 6 minutes. Up till date I haven’t found any man that can easily do that not to mention women as we all know for the female species that would be close to impossible.

After researching on the best way to go about making the best use of my 6 minutes which is already less by two minutes right now I arrived at the conclusion that in reality my life can be summarized in to the adage – WHAT DOES NOT KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER.

From as far back as I can remember I have always been quite shy. My mum fondly tells the story of how on my one year old birthday while we were in the United States my uncle and his wife threw me a big birthday party. And true to form in the middle of the birthday party while all the children were having fun I took some toys and went behind the house sat down on my own and was playing by myself. It was not till they wanted to cut the cake that they searched the entire house only to find me very content on my own.   Today she wonders in amazement when she sees me socializing as she cannot connect this person to the shy little boy she knew.

However this change was not of its own accord. An incident in medical school in my fifth year jolted me to the reality that success only comes to the bold and outgoing because in medical school we usually had oral exams which could make the difference between a fail and a pass. In my paediatrics oral exams because of my shyness and inability to speak properly in public I made a mess of the entire process stuttering through my presentations with bouts of silence in-between. Suffice to say I failed that year and had to repeat the year. I thought it was the end of the world. How would I fit in to the set below me? How much more humiliating could it be? But after a hard talk with myself I decided this would only make me stronger. Over the next year I made sure I participated in all presentations, I sat in front of every class so I would be the first person that was asked questions; I also stood in front in every ward round making myself vulnerable to what we termed percussion – which meant receive a barrage of questions from the consultant during the round. Naturally I had to do a lot of reading and it paid of beautifully as that year I scored the highest marks in my exams and also scoring the highest mark in all courses even in my final year. That was the beginning of my life as a high achiever and I have not looked back since then also continuing to be the best student in my Masters in Business Administration Set.

What does not kill you makes you stronger.
If I am asked what I can say is my biggest strength, I would say even without thinking about it that my biggest strength is the fact that no matter the situation I face I never ever ever seem fazed or disoriented or confused.  Let me tell you why –

Many people think it is because of my medical training but they cannot be farther from the truth. Many do not know this but for years my wife was fighting a battle with chronic kidney disease. For those that do not know what it is – This is when both kidneys totally shut down leading to an inability to produce urine and as such the waste products in the body accumulates.  For her to be able to perform this otherwise natural act she needed to be connected to a machine for 3-4hrs thrice a week. Each session costing N30, 000 leading to a sum of N120, 000 per week (drugs inclusive). That is why when I see those pleas for kidney patients on TV I know exactly how they feel. This went on for three years many times with me not having an idea of where I would get the money for the next dialysis.  That is when the statement there is a solution to every problem was burnt into my mind and remains there till today. 

Fortunately after three years of dialysis, one chest surgery, a trip to India and finally a kidney transplant 4 years ago. I came to the conclusion that If I can go through that successfully and come out on the other side successfully without being bankrupt and wrecked. Then no problem is worth my concern.

Again it showed me that what does not kill you makes you stronger.

These are two events that had a huge impact on the person I am today and is a glimpse into whom and why I am the way I am today.

If this is not breaking the ice with regards who I am then I do not know what is.

Thank you. 

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